Fluffy Tales Episode 1

Fluffy Tales Episode 1

Clif Kosterman Before Supernatural

Clif Kosterman has been the bodyguard for Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles for the past 14 years. Obviously a lot has happened in that time and we have many stories to tell. It has been exciting but Clif was a bodyguard long before J and J got out of highschool and he had some interesting clients, such as, Sharon Stone, Kurt Russell and Selena Gomez. He has many, many interesting stories to tell. We are going to tell you those stories but, first, we are going to give you some background. Clif is big and strong and he was born big and strong.

He was an affable and unusual child. At age three, it was already clear he was going to be strong and athletic well above average. Some relatives and neighbours called him Bam Bam because he reminded them of the Flintstones’ boy.  He was a sturdy, blonde, bundle of trouble who generated some of the family’s favourite anecdotes.

In the 1960s, children were not nearly as closely supervised as they are now. Clif had an explorer’s spirit and fear seldom occured to him. He was often being rescued because he had trapped himself somehow or someone had apprehended him in the midst of some good-natured bit of mayhem.

It is not an exaggeration to say Clif would terrorize his mother. She had four others to look after, and it was always a challenge to herd the cats, but Clif was in his own separate category. If he found a snake squished in the road, he just had to pick it up. When his mom called out for him to put it down, he would chase her with it. More than once he fired up the garden hose and sprayed her with cold water, grinning. He would chase her and sometimes she would scream, run back in the house and close the door. He would spray the door with water or wack the door with the snake and his mom could do nothing but threaten him through the door with “wait till your father gets home.”

Clif’s mom once tied him to a piece of yard furniture, just trying to get some things done around the house and there was no fence. She used a short rope around his foot and tied the other end to a wooden two person bench, the sides of which were cut-outs of a swan. It was appropriately painted . A short time later, she looked out the window, as  did several neighbours, to see Clif dragging the heavy swan up the middle of the road, heading away from the house.

Clif survived his childhood with both of his eyes (wore a patch for a while, though) no missing fingers, no horrendous burns… but he sure came close, far too often.

Clif was always a happy kid. In fact, of his siblings Clif was the least likely to be involved in an argument with anyone. He was generally a quiet guy. When he was a young man, he participated in many sports and was good at them; hockey, football, rugby. He won bodybuilding and weightlifting trophies and was once a national karate champion.

Racing Hidalgo 2

As Clif grew into a young man, he got into different kinds of mischief. When he was 14, he and a friend went to a motorcycle dealership, lied about their age and signed loans to buy two motorcycles which the dealership let them take home.  They enjoyed them for a few days before their dads found out and told them to take them back.

It was different back then and kids did not have the supervision they have now.  Of course, Clif did the usual boy things like, trying to blow stuff up firecrackers, tossing paint cans or “empty” propane cans in the campfire or setting rimfire rifle cartridges on a rock and hitting them with another. He learned a lot, such as, little puddles or plastic bags with gasoline were a little harder to control than he’d imagined.

There were a lot of guns around the house and, in those days, there weren’t any rules about storage. Clif became a marksman with many different types of firearm because his dad had such a huge collection.  Even though his dad did teach him how to handle a firearm safely, Clif there were some crazy things he just felt he had to try. For example, he set up a shooting range in the lower floor of the family home. He only fired one shot, though, because when he went to check if the backdrop he had built had prevented the bullet from hitting the wall, he found it had in fact gone right through that wall, through the room on the other side, through the exterior wall of the house and disappeared somewhere in the neighbor’s yard.

He looked older than he was and often bought liquor, even though he has never been a drinker, having found out early he was allergic to alcohol.  When he was 16, his dad took him to Las Vegas to learn how to play poker. He still loves Vegas and spends a lot of time there.  He gets a lot of free Diet Coke.

NEXT: Clif goes to Bodyguard school.

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